


Perfect For You

by sos_blimek25



Category: Toaru Kagaku no Railgun | A Certain Scientific Railgun
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Love, Love Confessions, One Shot, Romance, Yuri, so a bit of everything, their whole dynamic in a nutshell??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:41:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24234478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sos_blimek25/pseuds/sos_blimek25
Summary: Misaki and Mikoto have a complicated relationship. Misaki calls them “friends with benefits,” but Mikoto doesn’t think it’s that simple. Could they have fallen for each other somewhere along the way? Or is that Mikoto’s wishful thinking?She’s determined to find out the truth, once and for all.“Shokuhou,” Mikoto said. “What are we?”
Relationships: Misaka Mikoto/Shokuhou Misaki
Comments: 8
Kudos: 163





	Perfect For You

**Author's Note:**

> A little self-indulgent piece I wrote in between working on other things. I just can’t get enough of these two~
> 
> Set a couple years in the future, both girls are in high school and have their own apartments. Expect a little more maturity. Let me know what you think! x

“Shokuhou,” Mikoto said. “What are we?”

Misaki hated that question. She had been avoiding it since the first time Mikoto asked, when all of this began. They’d hung out together so many times. Went on dates, but refused to call it that. They’d kissed. Made out. Had sex a few times. And kept it secret from everyone they knew.

Whenever Mikoto tried to talk about how she felt, or get Misaki to open up, she was shut down. She wasn’t allowed to talk about anything personal. Misaki refused to comfort her or help solve her problems. Rarely picked up the phone, if she wasn’t asking to come over. There had been moments, late at night, when Misaki cracked a little. She’d worry over Mikoto, get flustered over a compliment, or whisper a thank you.

But that was it. And the next day, she always said, “If only I could wipe your memory of those things.”

It sucked. It hurt. A lot. During the day, they had to pretend to hate each other. Had to keep up their rival facade, and never speak about each other. It was frustrating. Difficult. Sometimes Mikoto slipped up, so Misaki had to altered the other person’s memories. Mikoto hated that.

They always said “no strings attached”, but Mikoto doubted that was the case from the very beginning. From the way Misaki eyed Kuroko whenever she spoke of her “love for her Onee-sama”. The way her heart raced whenever Misaki was close. The way Misaki smiled when they held hands. The way she constantly thought about her, and Misaki always thought of her, too. It was always _Misaki_.

It felt inadequate to call their relationship “friends with benefits.” But that’s what Misaki always said it was, if she said anything at all. So, Mikoto asked again.

They were at Mikoto’s place, late in the evening. Misaki sat on the edge of her bed, and Mikoto stood in front of her.

“What are we?”

Misaki sighed, dropping her gaze. “Why do you keep asking? You’re wasting your—“

“Because you never give me a straight answer.” Mikoto stared down at the other girl, fists clenched at her side. “Can’t you tell me how you really feel?”

“I don’t know what you expect me to say.”

Mikoto frowned. What _was_ she expecting Misaki to say? To turn around and suddenly admit she was in love with her? That would be ridiculous. Even if she was, prying it out of her wouldn’t be the best option.

Her body started trembling. She had to do _something._ She couldn’t keep running in circles. She shook her head. “I don’t know, I just… you _know_ I care about you. A lot. And I’m sick of having to act like I don’t.”

“What do you want me to do about it?”

Mikoto felt a flicker of anger in her chest. She gritted her teeth. “Don’t act like this doesn’t involve you.”

“I’m not.”

“You’re not even looking at me!”

“Do I need to?” Misaki said, looking at her nails, just to rub it in.

“You little…” Blue sparks began to crackle from Mikoto’s forehead. Misaki knew the sound by now, could hear them buzzing and snapping from miles away.

“Careful, Misaka-san. I _am_ defenceless against your power, you _will_ hurt me.”

“I—” Mikoto faltered. She’d gotten carried away once in the past. So used to lashing out at Kuroko, she had done the same to Misaki and _really_ hurt her. She was sick with guilt afterwards.

The sparks disappeared, but in seconds, her anger was reignited. Misaki was toying with her. She gritted her teeth and stomped on the ground. “How can you act like this? One minute, you’re clinging to me and saying that you need me, and the next, you don’t even look at me. Why?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“It involves me, that makes it my business!” she yelled. “I don’t wanna be like this forever. I don’t wanna be your secret. I care about you Shokuhou, I— I want to be with you.”

Misaki was quiet at first. Then, without even batting an eye in her direction, “Oh, my.” Her voice was hollow and her face expressionless. “Fallen for me, have you? That wasn’t part of the plan.”

Mikoto paused. “I know, but… can’t we be more than this?”

A heavy silence grew between them. Misaki wasn’t saying anything and Mikoto couldn’t read her. She never could. While her words hung in the air like heavy clouds, a million thoughts ran through Mikoto’s head. What was Misaki thinking? Was this it? Was this the end? She never wanted it to end. Was Mikoto a fool to ask for more? Had Misaki been using her? And now that she knew how Mikoto felt, was she purposefully going to hurt her? Would she go that far?

Mikoto tightened her fists. She didn’t _want_ to think these things about Misaki, she didn’t want to doubt her, didn’t want to assume the worst. But she genuinely didn’t know. She felt like, after all this time, she didn’t know her at all. And how could she, when Misaki never let her know? She cared about her, but sometimes, she still felt like a stranger.

Then, she heard Misaki laugh. As if being slapped in the face, Mikoto was pulled back into reality. It was a giggle, at first, quiet and under her breath. Then it overtook her body, and Misaki was curling over with laughter. Mikoto watched, her eyebrows furrowing. She’d heard that laughter many times before, but never from Misaki. It was a sad, shallow laughter. One of self-pity.

“Why did you fall in love with me, Misaka-san?” She said, finally looking up. Mikoto felt her body seize up.

“I…”

“Why do you _always_ have to make things so difficult? Why can’t you just _behave?”_

“I don’t understand…”

“Of course you don’t.” Misaki was grinning, but it didn’t reach her eyes. She brushed her hair over her shoulder, and stood up. With each beat of her heart, a wave of anxiety pulsed through Mikoto’s body. She watched Misaki so intently, and held her breath. She hung onto every word. Misaki put a finger under Mikoto’s chin and lifted her head up, forcing them to lock eyes.

“I want you, Misaka-san. I _hate_ how much I want you.” Misaki said. Her face was blank and unwavering. Her stare deep and intense. “Of all the people in the world to fall for… it had to be someone as reckless, stupid, and _kind_ as you. I never intended to act on my feelings. But when _you_ came to _me_ , I couldn’t resist.”

Mikoto’s eyes widened. “If… you have feelings for me, then—“

“I can’t be with you, Misaka-san. Not in the way you’re thinking.”

“Why not?”

“Many reasons,” Misaki waved a hand. “Your friends, for one, detest me. You’d throw a fit if I _changed_ their opinions of me.”

“There’s plenty ways around that! If they see how happy we are, I’m sure they’ll understand…”

“Do you really think this city’s going to turn a blind eye, if the public knew two Level 5’s were together? That’s just _asking_ for all kinds of trouble.”

“Nothing we wouldn’t be able to handle.”

“And,” Misaki looked away, and crossed her arms. Her voice was hesitant and quiet. “I can’t trust you. Can’t read you, can’t change you, can’t ever know what you’re thinking. How can I be with someone like that?”

“Shokuhou…” Mikoto frowned. She could see all kinds of hurt and conflict on the other girl’s face. Misaki gripped her arms tightly, curling in on herself.

“You could be using me this whole time. Could be lying about everything. I wouldn’t know.” she said.

“You _know_ I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“I’ll never know for sure.” Her voice was quivering. “I can’t control you.”

“If… if you ask me,” Mikoto began slowly. Holding her breath, she took a step towards Misaki. She didn’t seem to notice. She took another step. Reaching out, she touched Misaki’s arm, and the other girl flinched. Mikoto pulled away, her heart sinking. She waited a moment before trying again, reaching out gently this time, her fingertips barely brushing against the other’s skin. Misaki didn’t move. She smiled a little. “You can’t read my thoughts and I can’t read yours, which means we have to learn to communicate. You can’t control me, so you know everything I do is because I genuinely love you. I think that makes me perfect for you.”

“I…” Misaki looked up at Mikoto. That soft, heroic smile… She quickly looked away. “You know, I’ve survived this long because I’ve doubted everyone around me. I’ve never needed to trust anyone.”

“Until now.” Mikoto said. “Shokuhou, don’t give up before you even begin. I just want you to _try_ and trust me.”

Mikoto took one final step, standing face to face with the other girl. Mikoto grabbed Misaki’s arms and tugged at them. Misaki resisted at first, and then sighed, giving in. She slowly uncrossed her arms.

“Give me a chance, okay?” Mikoto said. And then, in a faint whisper, “Let me be your girlfriend.”

Misaki thought she’d imagined it. She looked up, staring at the girl before her. Mikoto’s cheeks were pink. Her eyes were warm and welcoming. And even now, she was smiling. That _damn_ smile.

She hated how much she loved it.

Misaki threw her arms around Mikoto’s neck, and pressed their lips together. Mikoto stumbled, but quickly caught herself, and leaned into the kiss. Her heart was pounding. She could feel it in every part of her body. Her hands found Misaki’s waist, and she pulled her in closer. Her eyes fluttered closed. And for that moment, time seemed to slow. Everything vanished from sight, from her mind, except for Misaki.

Mikoto pulled away first, catching her breath. Both girls let go of each other, and Misaki stepped back to give her some space. They were silent for a while. Mikoto’s heart was still racing.

“U-Um…” Mikoto could feel her face was beet red. She was embarrassed to even ask, but she had to make sure. “So… does that mean ‘okay?’”

Misaki mumbled under her breath, but Mikoto didn’t catch it. She looked up at the other girl, and was shocked to see her pouting. Misaki was blushing too, looking away, and twiddling her thumbs. “Well, yeah. Obviously…”

Mikoto blinked, and the words slipped out. “So adorable.”

“W-What? I’m not— jeez…” Looking everywhere but at Mikoto, Misaki noticed she’d left her bag on Mikoto’s bed. She picked it up and slung it over her shoulder. She pulled her hair out from underneath the strap. “I’d… better get going. I’ve spent too much time here.”

Mikoto was a little disappointed, but didn’t say anything. There was a bubble of happiness in her chest that took over everything else. “Sure, that’s okay.”

She watched as Misaki walked towards the front door. She reached for the handle, and then stopped. “And Misaka-san, just… one more thing?”

“What is it?”

Misaki paused. “Don’t go telling your friends just yet, okay? I… want you to myself, just for a little bit longer.”

“I won’t. Promise.”

“Good. Well then,” Misaki twisted the handle and swung the door open. “See you later, Misaka-san.”

“I love you, Misaki.”

Misaki stopped. She looked over her shoulder.

“…I love you too, Mikoto.”


End file.
